so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
