Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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