hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
