i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
