I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
