dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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