Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
