I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
