u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
