Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
