Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
