I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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