girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
