Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
