We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
