I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
