Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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