so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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