He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh god it's open bar.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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