i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
