Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
