Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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