I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
