You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize