Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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