Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
