Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
