is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
