Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
