I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize