The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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