You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
