She's JV to your varsity
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drake has all the answers
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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