youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
