he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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