So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
