I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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