i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
