I just made out with a guy for $7.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
