just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
