That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
