I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
