Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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