He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
