Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
