using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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