why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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