dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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