he told me I talked like a deaf person
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize