You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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