i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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