Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love accidental penises.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
