So drunk its hurt
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
