Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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