i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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