So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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