I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
