You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
