READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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