I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
