at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
