It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
