Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
