Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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