I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
