i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
